Hello lovely people
There has been a lot of talk of us living in uncertain times and being out of control as if this is new, but haven’t we always lived in uncertain times. Hasn’t being out of control come up for you before? Haven’t we always, (usually daily), had to change our plans. Every aspect of our life can change with little warning and often we have no control of this change.
Granted, the impact of Covid-19 has implemented many changes and the curve ball thrown at us is massive but we have the skills in the bank already, we have done this daily in our lives. We have all had days when nothing went to plan, everything unravelled in front of us but we came out the other side, no matter how battered and bruised. Shifting our expectations towards change and uncertainty and seeing it as an opportunity helps lighten the impact it has on us.
Why do we fear these emotions, why are they the emotional ‘baddies’ for a lot of us? Control and certainty provide comfort and familiarity but what do you learn from being in your comfort zone? Usually it is the same learnings, nothing changes so everything stays the same. How does that fit with you in your life? Do you like this constant familiarity, this inertia or do you feel trapped by the repetition, underutilised, unnoticed, invisible, like you are drowning or you are standing in the shadows? Perhaps you are waiting for someone to rescue you. You have to rescue ‘you’, nobody else can do that for you.
Change requires a leap of faith, a jump off in to the unknown. It requires you to be your own boss, (is that so bad?), and you have to be your own leader in this and not look to others for approval in what you do. Most of all you have to be brave enough to make the change and be brave enough to stick with it because you can be sure the path won’t necessarily be clear. You have to keep the faith that you are doing the right thing, but there are so many hurdles to overcome along the way. Fear often kicks in to keep you safe but fear can also build walls to block our paths… fear is a great thing in the right setting but unfortunately it can also crush us and keep us small.
It is only natural to find change challenging. Old patterns die hard. You have put a lot of time and energy into them over the past years, they are not just going to disintegrate overnight. If you think change should be easy you are setting yourself up for a tough time. However, the shifts and changes you want to make may not be as challenging as you first thought.
Take a few minutes and look back on your week and make a note of how many changes you have made in your life already. No doubt there have been changes to the way you live or how, where and when you work, and to how you stay connected to the people in your life. Quite possibly this has meant that you have had to get to grips with technology or more complicated technologies you usually keep your distance from. Most likely you have had to navigate that all your own. What massive inner resources you have. Did you think you could do that a few weeks ago?
Home schooling of children this week has also created challenges for all involved but also great positives. Perhaps you have learnt new things about yourself, your children – how flexible and resilient they are (you are). For many the bond, respect and communication between teachers, children and parents has grown as a result, this can only be a good thing. Perhaps you have had to give up your time to help someone or you have had to change your old ways and ask for help. Maybe living with your own company and your vulnerabilities this week has been your biggest challenge. Whatever these changes have been for you, pause and reflect on how well you have dealt with them.
These are all massive steps forward, into areas you probably never ventured before due to fear or a lack of knowledge or not wanting to look inept. You have achieved amazing things and you can still achieve more. Enter with an open mind and an open heart, from a neutral space, without judging yourself and see what happens. Good things await you if you are brave and give yourself the chance to find them.
Much love to you all
Kerry xx